Tuesday, October 8, 2013

During our darkest hour God shows us his most tender mercies

Hola familia y amigos!
I hope you all watched the little thing after conference about the Mexico CCM! It is exactly like the video. The food here is pretty good, and if you do not like it, there is always cereal or rice and beans. I am in a trio companionship with Hermana Hart (she is from Texas going to L.A.) and Hermana Lindford (she is from Spanish Fork going to Gilbert, Arizona). We got to watch conference is English and it was awesome!! If you did not get the hint, I think that the missionary work is being hastening forth. I know someone said to try to reach out to someone before December, so I challenge you all to do so! Invite someone to church, or another activity, or just talk about religion to someone. It is hard, I know.
Well a little about my week. It was crazy when we got here, and well it still is pretty crazy. It was good until Friday. Then I started feeling this sadness that I have never felt before and I started feeling so homesick. Which is strange because when I left I was so excited and I felt so ready. It was definately something that I have never felt before, and I hope to never feel again. It got worse watching Conference thinking about my family and everyone back home watching it. I was having a really hard time. One morning I got up and I went to take a shower. The showers here are strange, they have really hard water (is that how it is termed?) and they get hot REALLY fast. Anyways it was freezing so I turned it on, and it literally was burning me. I jumped out and then tried to turn the water off, which requires you to stick your entire arm back through the water, but it was really hot so I kept screaming. My hermana came and saved me though and turned it off for me. Afterwards I had red marks everywhere the water had touched. But during it a thought went through my mind, "that is how much I love you, as hot as this water is." So my red marks through the day was a reminder of Gods love for me. Ironic, I know. They eventually went away though. Later on I was listening to Elder Holland's talk about trials and he said "if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it." And of course I started crying because of what was happening. Then Elder Monson gave his talk and I cried more hearing our dear prophet talk about his hard time missing his family. Later that night I read one of Elder Holland's older talkes, Cast not Away your Confidences, and it made me understand a little about what was going on. Before my mission I had so many things trying to bring me down, but I held strong. Now that I am here, it is peaceful and there are no temptations really. Elder Holland talked about how before we are going to do a good thing, Satan comes. He came before Joseph Smith was about to pray. He came right after Moses had his great vision with God, and he comes right before we are going to do something great. He does anything and everything he can to bring us down, and it hurts. Monday I was feeling a lot better, but it was still with me a little. I was also feeling like why am I here? Did I really make the right decision? Do I really know?
My teacher was taking us out to talk to us one by one. We have two teachers, one is American, and the other one is native. The one who is the native does not speak a lick of English. So he took me out, and asked me how I was doing, and I told him a little about what was going on with my broken Spanish. He asked me why I chose to serve a mission. I told him why, and then he asked me to give him my testimony. I gave him my very basic testimony in Spanish, and I just started tearing up, because I do know this work is true, and I do know I am supposed to be here, and I do know that I need to be here helping others. Later I also got a letter from my dear friend Marina, who is about to leave for Thailand on her mission and she wrote me about how the Lord had pre ordained us and given us this work. She wrote me this letter about two and a half weeks ago and I got it in my very time of need. I got the strength I needed. This week has been hard, but as I have been having such a hard time the Lord has also showen me his greatest miracles and his greatest tender mercies. He has been with me every step of the way.
We have also been teaching an investigator, Hermana Sol. We have given her two lessons, both in Spanish. It has been hard, but it has been good. We have been praying in Spanish since about the second day. Every day I pray that this language will come quickly. I love sitting by the Latina hermanas, and they are awesome and so sweet and helpful.
There are also a lot more rules here at the CCM then probably on the mission. No music, no photos except P day, and a handful of others. At first I was resentful, but then I though if the Lord can trust me to do these few small things, how much more can he trust me with harder things. So I have been completely obedient. We also got to go to the temple today which was so great! It was all in Spanish!
Well make sure to write me because we print out all of our letters before we take our hour to write back so we can read them all. They bring me so much joy!
I love you all so much. Persevere on!

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